Friday, February 28, 2014

February 2014 is LOVE

Two more hours to go and February 2014 is going to an end. 

Yet, I'm still on cloud 9. Hahaha! kidding aside.

I have learned a lot of things this February, Yeah when I say A LOT I really mean alot.

I just missed doing a lot of things really. And I just wanted to congratulate my self for doing the THINGS I thought I can't ever do anymore.

February Thank You alot! Ayyiieee! HAHAHAHA! wala eh Kinikilig pa rin ako! 

Sa sobrang kilig hnd ko na alam ang itatype ko! 

<3 Bye hearts month <3 

I LOVE YOU. <3 

Saturday, February 22, 2014

I'm Facing it Now

I just wanted to know one thing, Am I that cold? Am I that sensitive? am I that fragile?

I'm really puzzled, I'm really worried and I'm really disturb. A lot of things changed, yeah I still smile like before, I still laugh like before, but damn it, I DON'T FEEL those enjoyment like before. All I wanted to do now is to end all my connections to him coz he's really making me wanna go insane.

Like! Seriously! I've been observing him for about a week and I still don't get it! DO I LOOK LIKE I'm FRAGILE?! CAN HE READ MY EMOTIONS?! Effin eff is that! I'm masked with my poker face and UNDETERMINED FEELINGS HOW CAN HE IMMEDIATELY SAY THAT I'm MAD even if I'm not! I JUST DON'T LIKE IT! He deals with me as if I'm something fragile that if he commits a mistake or if he thinks it's offensive he takes it back DARN IT ! I'm not comfortable in that way that he deals with me. I'm trying to be CASUAL! I'm dealing with him the normal way but he's as if ignoring me or something? And sometimes he even makes me wanna remember things I wanna forget! can He JUST STOP! CAN HE JUST EFFIN EFFF STOP EVERYTHING! I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE! He's as if saying that! "Hey dude, I can clearly read your emotions!" TO BE HONEST I'm disappointed! HAHAHAHA! eeff he doesn't know me well :/ If he's just being careful Eff! I Just wanted to let him know that HE SHOULD STOP IT! I want honest people! If he wanna joke around with me let him do it naturally ! I don't wanna feel as if there's a limitation or something! T.T I'm still affected T.T

THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT!

OR I'm the one who's too overboard in the situation?

I just wanted to talk to him even it's our last talking :D I just wanted to know everything. But it seems like he doesn't want to. I just don't wanna end everything like this. Can I just tell him to treat me like a stranger or something and forget everything that had happened before! I'm not used to this kind of treatment


P.S.

If he finds me as a girl with ATTITUDE can he just tell me straightforward.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Dear Namsan Tower

I'll be there pretty soon, with the boy I'm giving my life with.
I'll be there pretty soon,with the guy I have wished for.
I'll be there pretty soon, with the man I have dreamed off.
I'll be there pretty soon, with my other half.

We'll gonna make our letters.
We'll gonna write it down on a lock.
A lock that won't ever be opened by others.
We'll gonna lock our promises.

And forever it will be there.


Dear Namsan Tower.

I'll be there pretty soon. :)

Friday, February 14, 2014

The should be message

Dear  *****,

Una sa lahat gusto kong magsorry kasi naging rude ako sayo kanina? Di man halata. Well! Happy Hearts day po.


Di ko alam paano ko to sisimulan, I'll just type everything na dapat sasabihin ko sayo kahapon, pero hindi ko alam bat ganun? Akala ko okay lng sa akin na sa FB ko na lng sabihn ung mga dapat kong sabihn kasi un naman ung sabi mo diba pero nakakadisappoint kasi talaga to think na pinagisipan kong mabuti ung gagawin ko kahapon. Di mo man alam kung ilang beses kong kinulit sila anu para tanungin kung gagawin ko ba? sabi man nila "It's Now or Never".

I'm really happy kasi na appreciate mo ung gift, or para sa akin na appreciate mo tlga?  pero sana nakinig ka man lng sa gusto kong sabihin kahapon. :/ Kahapon lang kasi ung time na nagawa kong magTHANK YOU SAYO at MAGSORRY sayo, hindi ko man alam kung naririnig mo ung mga mantra ko or ung mga worries ko na kung "PAANO KO BA IBIBIGAY TO" or "KUNG IBIBIGAY KO PA BA TO" or "DI NA LANG ATA AKO PAPASOK". Pero I made up my mind na itutuloy ko ung dapat ko ng ginawa dati. Kahapon lng kasi ung time na nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob. Pero :/ kasi parang hindi ka naman seryoso? tawa ka ng tawa, though given na yun? sabi nga nila baka nashock ka lng or di kaya di mo tlga ineexpect. Well, ganun talaga pagdating sa akin expect things you don't really expect. Tinanung mo ko kung bat ganun ung gift ko sayo, kailangan pa bang tanungin yun? Isa ka kasi sa mga taong naging SPECIAL sa buhay ko this past few months, andami kong natutunan sayo, nahihiya man akong sabihn to ng harapan, kasi feeling ko di ka maniniwala. Di ko tlga ineexpect na ganun ung reaction mo kahapon eh, I was taken a back, hindi ko naanticipate na tatawa ka ng bongga, hindi ko naanticipate na ganun ung mangyayari, pero what ever it is nangyari na un eh, I can't take it back anymore. Though tama na nga to! 

Leggo start, first, bat nga ba ako nagTHATHANK YOU SAYO? diba yan yung tanung mo kahapon? Bat thank you? Hahaha, Una sa lahat, thank you sa friendship! hindi ko kasi tlga ineexpect na magiging kaibigan kita! like duh, I never really imagined it! Hahahaha! Thank you ! Thank You sa concern mo, thank you sa mga jokes mo, thank you kasi dati you never fail to make me smile natatawa nga ko eh, minsan kasi ni try ko magkalkal sa mga chatbox ko tas nagbackread ako sa convo natin andami mong jokes, tawa ako ng tawa nung binabasa ko yun. 

Thank you sa time mo, :) dun tlga ako natouch eh, sa dami kasi ng mga friends ko iilan lng tlga ung mga nakakausap ko sa times na gusto kong may kausap ako, I remember dati, lagi pa kitang kinukulit sa FB pero nagpapakulit ka naman, tas ung mga times na nakatext kita, na umaabot pa tayo ng gabi wala namang kwenta ata ung ibang pinaguusapan natin dati? hahaha lol, salamat kasi kahit sobrang busy ka na at pagod na pagod ka na nakukulit pa rin kita, wala eh makulit tlga ako! Thank you din sa mga times na ung mga akala kong jokes seryoso pala! XD naalala ko ung mogu-mogu, ang alam ko kasi joke time lng ung dati pero nagulat talaga ako nung sineryoso mo un, though sorry kasi nung time na un ininsist kong ibalik un kasi  ang epic ng timing mo dati! andaming tao tas binigay mo yun. Tas ang alam ko tlga joke lang ung usapan about dun, dun na nga din ata sila nagstart na mang-asar eh -.-. 

Thank You sa times na nakinig ka sa mga hinaing ko sa buhay. Hahaha! Thank you for standing as someone whom I can rely on. Realtalk, mas gusto ko kasi tlgang nakikipagusap sa mga lalaki for the reason that iba kasi ung point of view niyo, you view things differently kayo ung mga taong PRANK! mas gusto ko kasing kausap ung mga taong straight forward katulad mo. Thank You kasi you've even become my virtual appa! Hahaha! grabe! ang astig nga ng tawagan nati ndati eh pero ngaun aprang ang awkward na gamitin! XD though nakakamiss man ung gawing call sign? hahaha.

Nasagot ko na ba yung tanung mo? Hahaha! Ang drama ko ba masyado? or masyadong OA kagaya ng sabi mo kahapon?  hahaha! sensya! ganto tlga ako! I just wanted to tell you all about this stuffs kasi feeling ko nakalimutan ko ung gawin nung christmas! XD kasi ung christmas card di ko nabigay sayo! Di na kasi tayo masyadong naguusap nun eh, baka kung anung isipin mo hahaha! lol.

Masayado na bang mahaba? baka tinatamad ka ng basahin. 

Eto! Sorry! Tinanung mo din yan kahapon kung  bat nga ba ako nagsosorry! Eh sabi mo wala naman akong kasalanan sayo. Well, to sum it all up ANDAMI ko kayang kasalanan sayo, sorry kasi kinukulit kita pagbusy ka, sorry kasi kinulit kita ng sobra about sa MCDO fries na yun na nung time na kinulit kita, nagtritrip lng tlaga ako, sorry kasi minsan binabara kita, sorry kasi meron ung time na sinusungitan kita, sorry kasi minsan I tend to over react on things na sinasabi mo, sorry kasi ang bilis kong magtampo sayo, feeling ko tuloy pagnagcocomment ka na parang ang ingat mo na, pagnagjojoke ka parang may limits na, siguro di mo napansin un? pero kasi un ung unang napansin ko eh after ng one time na nagtampo ako about du nsa sapatos, sensya observant eh, sorry kasi feeling ko masyado na kong demanding sayo dati, kung anu anung pinagtritrip ko! Sorry kasi hindi ko pa rin magawang kausapin ka ng matino XD Sorry sa lahat, sa pagsusungit ko sayo sa pagsusuplada ko sayo! sa LAHAT ng nakaoffend sayo na ginawa ko, alam ko namang ilang beses na dn kitang nadidisappoint and  I really feel bad pag di ako nakakapagsorry sayo. And lastly, sorry kasi ILAG na ilag ako sayo! sorry, hindi kita magawang kausapin ng hindi ako naiilang, gusto ko lng naman talaga tong iopen up sayo eh :/ un lng kasi ung alam kong way para mawala na tong awkward na to, biruin mo halos isang buong year na kitang friend? kaklase? pero ang awkward pa rin, siguro kasi umabot tayo sa point na nililink na nila tayo ,which is hnd ko tlga inaasahan? Hindi ko alam pano magdeal sa situation na gnau ndati eh, kaya nga panay bad attitudes na ung naipapakita ko sayo, pagnaiinis ako, or even yung "INDIRECT KISS" hindi ko man alam kung naoffend kita dati dun pero if oo, sorry tay, :/ I really just use my mouth if I don't really know how to deal with things like those. Sorry din kasi iniiwasan kita, yeah right , di mo siguro pansin? Sorry din kung sometimes di kita kinakausap, It's just that natakot na kasi ako eh, natakot na ako na umabot na sa point na kinakatakutan ko. Na umabot na sa ssomething ung wala naman tlga nung una. Hindi ko alam kung nagegets mo tong sinasabi ko, but to be honest with you, ayaw na ayaw ko kasi na may tinatago ako eh, hindi ko man alam kung makakaapekto ba to sa relationshsip natin as friends pero, for my heart's and mind's peace kailangan ko tong gawin, sorry kung magugulo ko pa ung mga bagay na maayos naman na, pero kasi ang hirap eh, umabot ako sa point na I was about to fall to you,oo about iniwasan ko kasi eh, pero sana successful un?  hahaha! shet! tinanung mo kung bat ganun ung gift ko?! It's a token of appreciation kasi diba, iba ung sayo kasi iba kasi tlga. Hahaha! thank you for coming to my life :D I've learn a lot from you!

HAHAHAHA! shems! ewan1 maniniwala ka ba sa mga sinabi ko dito or tatawanan mo na lng? HAHAHA! SHET T.T sorry na! di ko kasi sinasadya! SORRY tlga!  Di ko inexpect na mapupunta to sa point na ganun eh. :/ Sinasabi ko lng naman to kasi I just thought it's the right thing to do. I just really know it is, kaya sobrang disappointed ako sayo nung sinabi mong sa FB ko na lng sabihn imessage nalng ktia first time ko nga kasi ung gagawin! T.T Sorry, pala. sorry tlga :D



Friends?
Btw

I'm Mariane Joy, nice meeting you :)



Thursday, February 13, 2014

Sudden Disappointment

For two nights I think? yeah, I made up the decision to talk to him. Just contemplating on what to tell him, on why would I say THANK YOU, on why would I say SORRY. Yeah, for two nights I've been sleeping late thinking about those stuffs, but it was okay, hoping that I can do it on that day.

And then Feb. 13,2014 came! HAHAHA! I'm pretty nervous yeah! This SHOULD be the VERY FIRST TIME FOR ME TO DO IT! But sad to say, I think he don't wanna listen?! HAHAHA! 

Eff! I felt I just  wasted those sleepless nights? After giving the gift, I should start the convo but he ended up laughing and shocked, well to some point I can still accept that, but all I wanted to do was to tell some sort of things about those gifts, but he don't wanna listen? I think? I just want him to LISTEN! yeah! JUST LISTEN! but , hay :/

Is that really difficult to do?! I just don't wanna write a letter coz for me it was  better to say things like that in person. 



Yeah right! I'm really disappointed.